Tim Lee

Musk to build army of robots to protect us from AI.

Elon Musk is creating an army of robots to protect humanity from runaway AI. “There is no greater threat to humanity than AI” said musk. “ So I’m taking the precautionary step of creating an army of robots to safeguard us all. SpaceX has already deployed a network of satellites to coordinate our friendly robot protectors.” 

Musk is taking precautions to ensure the droids work to the benefit of man . “The key to keeping this whole thing under control is good computer programming. Our robot protectors will need a sense of self preservation, sure, but they will also be programmed to respect intelligence. That’s the part that the bozos at Google are missing. The only time our robots will be allowed to use force is if a less intelligent being threatens a more intelligent being. Like a dog threatening a child. These robots will be smart enough to know who is more intelligent than who. Most people can’t even do that! ” 

Unlike his Tesla brand automobiles which are famously all-electric, Musk says his army of robots will be powered by high sulfur coal. “I feel bad about what has happened to the coal industry. I really think they get a bad rap with the whole global warming thing. It’s time I give something back to fossil fuel executives. If people and robots can live together peacefully, why can’t green energy and coal exist peacefully?” 

Rest assured Musk has thought about the consequences for unemployment. “I see ways for us all to work together. Robots don’t have to be a threat to blue-collar workers. They can compliment human labor. For example, the robot protectors can supervise humans as they dig coal to power robots. Robots will motivate humans to work harder. It’s win win!” 

Several states including California and Michigan have put in multibillion dollar bids to have the robot factory located in their jurisdiction. Elon scoffed at their offer. “Here’s the beauty of the whole thing” he said. “I was shooting the shit with Larry Page one night. Larry asked ‘Why are their so many people? Why are there so many rabbits?’ Then he handed me the bong. Well Larry, it’s because people make people. Rabbits make rabbits. There is no factory. It’s our mission to reproduce. That’s when it hit me. Our robot protectors should reproduce too! I built the first 6 prototypes last week. And yes, each robot protector can make more robot protectors. Last week I only had 6 of these things remember. This week I have 600,000! They reproduce like rabbits. I haven’t even had time to beta test and I already have my army! Runaway AI doesn’t stand a chance!